yesterday and today (so far)

yesterday: was pretty much AMAZING because i found out some ridiculously awesome news about my new job.

today: has sucked so bad it's not even funny. and on top of it, i have to go to work and probably make no money. today can kiss my ass, along with the guy who lives in the bottom apartment in the big white house on the corner of 5th and pacific in alameda, california. you suck, guy. if you have some spare time on your hands, feel free to go egg his house or something. really... by all means... go ahead.

the last 24 hours...

here's what i did:

last night

• (5:00 pm) while at work, i was approached and asked to be in a porn! wtf?!
• (8:00 pm) QUIT MY JOB. don't worry, i have a new/way better one.
  

today

• (5:30 am) picked mark up and took him to the airport at the ass-crack of dawn.
  
• (6:15 am) went back to bed.
  
• (10:00 am) woke up and got ready for work.
  
• (1:00 pm) went to the UPS store b/c, apparently, i missed the UPS guy. they said my package won't be available 'til after 8pm tonight... lame.
  
• (2:00 pm) went to work.
  
• (2:30 pm) talked to christine about how stupid/illegal this job is.
  
• (3:00 pm) walked around the mall and bought a cool shirt @ macy's for $13... it came with a cool necklace for free! the necklace: 
• (6:00 pm) left work.
• (6:15 pm) had a 5 second conversation with a hobo:

  "hey yo! young man! can i have yo' sunglasses? spare a little love for yo' brotha!"

  "uh, no, you can't"

  "fuck you then."

  "no thanks."

• (6:20 pm) got home and checked my mail. paid a bill.
  
• (6:25 pm) went to jayme's apartment to say hi and get my bowls back.
  
• (6:30 pm) wrote this blog.

probably what i'll do later tonight

• (7:00 pm) clean a little bit.
  
• (7:30 pm) eat dinner.
  
• (8:00 pm) go get my package from the UPS store.
  
• (9:00 pm) meet up with jayme and aaron for a drink at the Ambassador.
  
• (11:00 pm) go to sleep.

ps... my phone was stolen 2 days ago. so if you have been trying to get a'hold of me, i apologize for "not answering"... i didn't even know you called!!!!! i am going to pick up my new phone from UPS tonight. everything will be all good after that!

so excited

so, i got tickets for fleetwood mac... going to the concert in may! hahahahahahaa i am so pumped! there are so may random opportunities in california. auditions for PARIS HILTON'S NEW BFF were last week. we were gonna go, but we ended up not going. i could care less about being paris hilton's best friend, lol. she is retarded. also, the new season of REAL WORLD is going to be in berkeley, ca. berkeley is only 15 minutes away from san francisco and the auditions are on tuesday, but i am working so i can't go. probably better that i didn't ausitoon because i would probably get on the show and they would make me out to be somehting that i'm not. that show makes people look like what they are not. there's always the bitch, the womanizer, the whore, the etherial/earthy girl, the hippie, the fag, and the retard. i would be the retard for sure. lol i would be the funny one who does things on a whim - makeing eggs and bacon at 2am, watching movie marathons, making fun of people on the street, and playing practical jokes on everyone else in the house. haha i mean, i do all that stuff anyway, so i guess i am kinda "the retard" :)

anyway fleetwood mac is going to be amazing! i cannot wait! everything is going pretty well out here. my job is annoying most of the time, but it's fun and i get a sense of worth out of it. i meet a lot of neat people through my job. some of the neatest people i've ever met. my boss is considerate and tries to accommodate to our personal life schedules. although, that happens few and far between for me. i dunno, it's nuts i guess. i'm not at a point where i want to quit or anything. i do want something more though. i'm seriously considering moving to LA this summer. mark and sarah and i are pretty much OVER the bay area. it's too expensive and you can't get what you want out here. the opportunity to be in great plays, open an art gallery, etc... aren't here in the city. LA is more wide-spread and seems to offer more of an artistic flair. it has everything. another reason i'm OVER the bay area is because i don't care about city life. i don't go out to the bars ever. i don't get dressed up and go for a night on the town. this city is only 7 square miles, and if you've seen it once, you've seen it all. the city has become somewhat stale to me. i would rather live somewhere else where people are not all about work and all about getting drunk at the clubs. i want friends who are weird and funny and talk about more than their jobs and who they hooked up with. san francisco is pretty wrapped up in all that, and i've never been about that. so i think LA will be better for me. and above all else, it's too expensive to live here. the cost of living is insaaaaane! anyway, i'm keeping my head up and my eyes open and positively moving forward! can't wait for new things!

yall, i need this

funny stuff...

Only in Ameri​ca .​.​.​.​.​do drugs​tores​ make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store​ to get their​ presc​ripti​ons while​ healt​hy peopl​e can buy cigar​ettes​ at the front​.​

Only in Ameri​ca .​.​.​.​.​.​do peopl​e order​ doubl​e chees​eburg​ers,​ large​ fries​,​ and a diet coke.​

Only in Ameri​ca .​.​.​.​.​ do banks​ leave​ both doors​ open and then chain​ the pens to the count​ers.​

Only in Ameri​ca .​.​.​.​.​do we leave​ cars worth​ thous​ands of dolla​rs in the drive​way and put our usele​ss junk in the garag​e.​

Only in Ameri​ca .​.​.​.​.​do we buy hot dogs in packa​ges of ten and buns in packa​ges of eight​.​

Only in Ameri​ca .​.​.​.​.​do they have drive​-​up ATM machi​nes with Brail​le lette​ring.​

EVER WONDE​R.​.​.​.​

Why the sun light​ens our hair,​ but darke​ns our skin?​

Why women​ can'​t put on masca​ra with their​ mouth​ close​d?​

Why don'​t you ever see the headl​ine '​Psych​ic Wins Lotte​ry'​?​

Why is '​abbre​viate​d'​ such a long word?​

Why is it that docto​rs call what they do '​pract​ice'​?​

Why is lemon​ juice​ made with artif​icial​ flavo​r,​ and dishw​ashin​g liqui​d made with real lemon​s?​

Wh y is the man who inves​ts all your money​,​ calle​d a broke​r?​

Why is the time of day wit h the slowe​st traff​ic calle​d rush hour?​

Why isn'​t there​ mouse​-​flavo​red cat food?​

Why didn'​t Noah swat those​ two mosqu​itoes​?​

Why do they steri​lize the needl​e for letha​l injec​tions​?​

You know that indes​truct​ible black​ box that is used on airpl​anes?​ Why don'​t they make the whole​ plane​ out of that stuff​?​!​

Why don'​t sheep​ shrin​k when it rains​?​

Why are they calle​d apart​ments​ when they are all stuck​ toget​her?​

If flyin​g is so safe,​ why do they call the airpo​rt the termi​nal?​

Now that you'​ve smile​d at least​ once,​ it's your turn to sprea​d the stupi​dity and send this to someo​ne you want to bring​ a smile​ to (​maybe​ even a chuck​le)​.​.​.​in other​ words​,​ send it to every​one.​ 

We all need to smile​ every​ once in a while​.​

HAVE A GREAT​ DAY!

come back here, eddie munster!

so, most of you probably know the story of how i dyed my hair black one time and my mom freaked out... chased me around the house and screaming "it better be a wash-out!!!!!" ...well, it wasn't a washout. i had always wanted black hair, just to see what it would look like. my old youth minister, kevin kirkland, had black hair and i thought he was so cool, so i wanted black hair too. i went to albertson's and bought a box of black hair dye and went home and dyed my hair (and my eyebrows too)

.....HORRIBLE DECISION, TAYLOR!!!

it looked so ridiculous. i am too pail for black hair, and this was out of a box, so you can only imagine what i looked like. i eventually found a way to get past my mom, as she was chasing me down the stairs, and i ran (out of pure fear) to my sister's house. she lived down the street. well, lo! and behold... sure enough... here comes mom in her xterra (going about 653,47364983 mph, i might add) roaring down the street and up into my sister's circle drive. i heard her coming and had enough time to run across the street and hid behind dr. brown's trashcans in his driveway (I'VE NEVER BEEN SO EXCITED FOR IT TO BE TRASH DAY!). mom got out of her car and started to walk up to my sister's front door and i realized i had two choices:

1. stay hidden, and face certain doom...
   
2. OR, run and hope i get home before she does. then lock myself in a closet or the basement or start juggling milk cartons to distract her!
   

i chose the ladder, and high-tailed it down the street. i wasn't even 5 feet in the street before i hear, "COME BACK HERE, EDDIE MUNSTER!" at that point, i prayed for her car not to start. well, that didn't work. here she came, flying out of the driveway, honking, flashing her brights and screaming "YOU CAN RUN, BUT YOU CANT HIDE, ELVIS!" ...i only got half-way down the block before she was on my boot-heels. not even kidding, if i hadn't taken a leap of faith into the grass, i'm pretty sure she would've run over me and i would've been flat as a pancake, yall!

anyway, the point of drudging up my near-death experience... i found a video online of this incident!!! characters have been changed, and it wasn't snowing... but the situation is pretty much the same... enjoy... :)

sa-da-saaa! it's saaaaturday!

first off... HAPPY BIRTHDAY JESSIE!

well, the play last night went well. we had a lot of lesbians in the crowd. whenever we do, david {our director} always walks backstage and says

"ok guys, we've got lebanese tonight!"

haha! i guess when your show is called VAMPIRE LESBIANS OF SODOM, it's to be expected, yeah? anyway, it was pretty high energy last night. very fun. my high-heels broke though, so  during this chase scene in the show, i was running around the stage clip-cloppin' around trying not to bust ass!

jess rhodes is coming to the show tonight. after the show is over, we have to go perform a scene for this woman {at least i think she is a woman... you never know!} who has optioned us to perform at her birthday halloween bash or something. she is a local celebrity... in certain circles. from what i hear, she is a professional... umm... well... i'll put it this way: she runs a cat house where goods/services are offered/available that are not generally socially accepted... people pay her a ridiculously large amount of money to... ahem... well, uh, you get the picture!

it should be fun. it's a huge party. i'm sure i will see 354,587489300 crazy characters there. i can't wait! it's kinda going to be my halloween since i can't do anything on halloween night because of the play. we perform on halloween at 8pm and then we have a midnight show. so, we won't be leaving the theatre until around 3am :-\

i am about to go send will his birthday present. he is turning 9.... shit that floors me! i cannot believe he is NINE! it really and truly seems like he was just a baby yesterday!!!

i remember october 30, 1999 very well. my weenie dog, talley, got hit by a car that evening. my dad and i had to go up to the carriage and tell my mom what happened. we went to the back door of the carriage and told her and she literally had a nervous breakdown. she kept saying "NO! NO! NO! PLEASE NO!" and dropped to the floor. even my dad was crying. it was really sad. talley really was a little part of our family... by far, the best dog i've ever had! mom followed us home and everyone came over. todd & dave dug a little hole in our backyard and buried him. we had this ceramic weenie dog statue that we put on top of his little grave. it was really sweet and sad. later that night, i was supposed to go to hollie worthington's halloween party and i was so upset and didn't want to go. and will was at the house. he was 2 days. they had JUST brought him home from the hospital. crazy days! my dad kinda made me go to the party. i don't even remember what i dressed up as. i think i was a pirate? no, i was a mummy? no... i actually have no idea what i was! that's weird! haha

anyway, i need to go get that stuff done before the shows tonight! have a good day, everyone!

{haha, little fat bat!}

PS: 61 days 'til christmas!