Friday
funny stuff...
Only in America .....do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.
Only in America ......do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke.
Only in America ..... do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.
Only in America .....do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.
Only in America .....do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.
Only in America .....do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.
EVER WONDER....
Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?
Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?
Why don't you ever see the headline 'Psychic Wins Lottery'?
Why is 'abbreviated' such a long word?
Why is it that doctors call what they do 'practice'?
Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?
Wh y is the man who invests all your money, called a broker?
Why is the time of day wit h the slowest traffic called rush hour?
Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?
Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?
Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?
You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?!
Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?
Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?
If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?
Now that you've smiled at least once, it's your turn to spread the stupidity and send this to someone you want to bring a smile to (maybe even a chuckle)...in other words, send it to everyone.
We all need to smile every once in a while.
HAVE A GREAT DAY!
Only in America ......do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke.
Only in America ..... do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.
Only in America .....do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.
Only in America .....do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.
Only in America .....do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.
EVER WONDER....
Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?
Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?
Why don't you ever see the headline 'Psychic Wins Lottery'?
Why is 'abbreviated' such a long word?
Why is it that doctors call what they do 'practice'?
Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?
Wh y is the man who invests all your money, called a broker?
Why is the time of day wit h the slowest traffic called rush hour?
Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?
Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?
Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?
You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?!
Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?
Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?
If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?
Now that you've smiled at least once, it's your turn to spread the stupidity and send this to someone you want to bring a smile to (maybe even a chuckle)...in other words, send it to everyone.
We all need to smile every once in a while.
HAVE A GREAT DAY!
Sunday
come back here, eddie munster!
so, most of you probably know the story of how i dyed my hair black one time and my mom freaked out... chased me around the house and screaming "it better be a wash-out!!!!!" ...well, it wasn't a washout. i had always wanted black hair, just to see what it would look like. my old youth minister, kevin kirkland, had black hair and i thought he was so cool, so i wanted black hair too. i went to albertson's and bought a box of black hair dye and went home and dyed my hair (and my eyebrows too)
.....HORRIBLE DECISION, TAYLOR!!!
it looked so ridiculous. i am too pail for black hair, and this was out of a box, so you can only imagine what i looked like. i eventually found a way to get past my mom, as she was chasing me down the stairs, and i ran (out of pure fear) to my sister's house. she lived down the street. well, lo! and behold... sure enough... here comes mom in her xterra (going about 653,47364983 mph, i might add) roaring down the street and up into my sister's circle drive. i heard her coming and had enough time to run across the street and hid behind dr. brown's trashcans in his driveway (I'VE NEVER BEEN SO EXCITED FOR IT TO BE TRASH DAY!). mom got out of her car and started to walk up to my sister's front door and i realized i had two choices:
- stay hidden, and face certain doom...
- OR, run and hope i get home before she does. then lock myself in a closet or the basement or start juggling milk cartons to distract her!
i chose the ladder, and high-tailed it down the street. i wasn't even 5 feet in the street before i hear, "COME BACK HERE, EDDIE MUNSTER!" at that point, i prayed for her car not to start. well, that didn't work. here she came, flying out of the driveway, honking, flashing her brights and screaming "YOU CAN RUN, BUT YOU CANT HIDE, ELVIS!" ...i only got half-way down the block before she was on my boot-heels. not even kidding, if i hadn't taken a leap of faith into the grass, i'm pretty sure she would've run over me and i would've been flat as a pancake, yall!
anyway, the point of drudging up my near-death experience... i found a video online of this incident!!! characters have been changed, and it wasn't snowing... but the situation is pretty much the same... enjoy... :)